The same can happen after Easter. We have spent 40 days tightening our ascetical practices, trying to bring ourselves closer to Christ, trying to be better Christians, and trying to find a bit more love for those around us. We’ve reflected on Christ’s sacrifice for us through his death and his amazing gift to us of his precious Body and Blood. We’ve participated in the moving mysteries in the liturgies of the Holy Triduum and rededicated ourselves to Christ once again. So, now what? Why are we not better people? Why do we still do those things that we were hoping were no longer going to plague us? Why does it seem like our work at forming and reforming ourselves often does not reach those heights that we hoped for?

     Mercifully, we are not alone in experiencing this dilemma. Just think about what happened to Jesus’ first disciples. Jesus told them three times that he would have to suffer and die for them (and us). Yet, they did not really “get” what he was trying to teach them. James and John asked if they could be at his right and left hand in his kingdom. Peter, right after confessing Jesus as the Messiah, told Jesus not to think about suffering and dying. When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the disciples and the people all thought that Jesus was getting ready to assume his place as king … which he was, but not quite the kingdom they were expecting. Their beloved leader was arrested and crucified. Peter denied him and then he and the rest of the disciples ran away. The disciples’ world appeared to crash down all around them. Talk about a bitter disappointment and a derailment of plans!

     The disciples were scared, lost, apparently alone, and in their fear locked themselves in the upper room. Yet, we also know that the story was not finished. Jesus was raised and appeared to Mary Magdalene, the disciples on the road to Emmaus, and, ultimately, to the rest of the apostles. Jesus continued to teach them and sent the Holy Spirit to be with them (and us). Understanding was coming to them. Who could have imagined the fire that was to animate and inspire them?

     So, what does this tell us about disappointment? First, that it does happen; life does not always turn out as we would like. Second, what emerges after a disappointing experience is often better than any initial hopes and expectations we might have had! The key is to remain open to the graces that are available and present to us. It is always tempting to lock ourselves in an upper room and bemoan our fate. If we can allow the door to be opened, the unexpected outcome may simply be divine. So, does this mean we should never plan or anticipate something big or important? Not at all. We do need to realize that when things do not turn out, we do not necessarily know the end of the story or what God’s plans for us are.